The Price of Fame - KJ1 Page 35

  Jay twirled the ring on her finger for the thousandth time, watching it sparkle, then took it off and looked at the small, neat script her lover had had engraved on the inside of the band: Forever. She could only hope it was still true. She was almost there. If she could have flapped her wings herself, she would have; the flights had seemed to drag on for an eternity.

  There had been plenty of time to think, and it had made her miserable.

  Once Peter had knocked some sense into her, it was all so clear: Kate had 268

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  given up everything for love, everything for her—her career, her future, her life, and her happiness. Wow. For her, Jamison Parker.

  And she had repaid her lover by doubting her and damning her, judging her not by her actions and words, but by those of a sleazy tabloid reporter. Jay was ashamed of herself. She wished she could somehow turn back the clock and do that morning’s conversation over again, but she knew real life didn’t work that way; she’d just have to make it right somehow.

  She flashed back to the conversations between her and Kate about trust . She asked me to trust in her, trust in us, and I failed abysmally.

  Great, Jamison, this time it may have cost you your one chance at love and happiness. Worse yet, you managed to devastate this incredible woman who sacrificed everything for you. She knew she was going to have to work harder to overcome her trust issues. No one else could do that for her, not even Kate; she just hoped she wasn’t too late.

  As soon as the small plane touched the runway in Sedona, she was out of her seat. Now that she was there, she wasn’t sure what to do. There were more than sixty trails in the area, and that was assuming that Kate had gone hiking. If she was there, which was yet another assumption. Jay chewed her lip.

  Peter had reconstructed the places he thought his friend had been in the week she’d been gone. He knew she’d been to the Great Sand Dunes and to Mesa Verde; he also knew she had stopped briefly at the Grand Canyon. He’d looked at maps and routes and was fairly sure she’d gone through Navajo and Hopi reservations. He thought she’d been in Flagstaff the previous night or that morning. He had told Jay all of that when she had called him from Phoenix. And he told her that he’d had no word from Kate.

  Closing her eyes, Jay tried to focus. She knew Kate favored quiet, peaceful places, mountains and water. She also knew her partner loved to hike. She would have gone hiking someplace quiet where she could be alone. Jay looked at her watch; sunset was a little more than an hour away. She thought about everything she knew about Sedona. Growing up only two hours away, she had spent much time in the land of extraordinary red rock. There were so many beautiful, peaceful places to hike. And then it came to her. All of the places Peter thought Kate had been were spiritually significant. She would have gone to Bell Rock. One of seven vortexes in the world, Bell Rock was a fantastic place from which to watch the sun set, and perhaps the most spiritual place in the area.

  Walking out the front door of the tiny airport, Jay hailed a waiting cab, which she had deliver her to the trailhead for the Bell Rock Pathway.

  She would have to hustle; it was a three-and-a-half-mile hike each way.

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  Fortunately, she had brought only a light backpack with a single change of clothes and her hiking boots, which she put on before settling the pack on her back and setting off up the trail. Although there were several ways to get up Bell Rock, she was fairly confident that this would have been the one her lover had taken; it had the nicest views from the top.

  As Jay jogged up the trail, she tried not to think too much. What if I’m wrong; what if Kate didn’t come to Bell Rock? Heck, what if she’s not even in Sedona? She couldn’t entertain such notions; her lover had to be there. There wasn’t a soul in sight as Jay wended her way up the red rock, red rock dust coating her boots and a light sheen of sweat on her brow.

  Within half an hour, as the trail turned sharply steeper and more difficult to follow, Jay caught a glimpse of a single figure sitting near the very top of the rock formation. She couldn’t make out the features or even determine if it was a man or a woman from that distance, but in her heart she knew it was Kate. She redoubled her efforts, pouring all her energy into getting to that lone figure, fighting for footholds and handholds in the rock, not caring about anything but her ultimate destination.

  Twenty minutes later, she was close enough to see clearly that the solitary hiker was, indeed, Kate, and that she had her eyes closed. Jay approached cautiously, quietly, unsure of exactly what to say or do. She got to within seven feet, and her heart broke. She could feel waves of despair and hopelessness that she knew belonged to the proud figure seated before her. Silent tears tracked unhindered down Kate’s face; she looked so lost, so forlorn and alone. She was gaunt despite her tan, and too thin, and it was obvious that she didn’t know she was being watched.

  Looking at that immense pain, Jay began to cry herself. Oh my God, what have I done to you, my love? I destroyed you. What have I done?

  She stood there, rooted to the spot, unable to move forward or back.

  Sitting there, deep within her own world of pain and anguish, Kate fought with herself and prayed for wisdom. She had been so sure of herself, so positive that walking away would be the right thing. And on one level it was. But on the other hand...she replayed for the millionth time that morning’s phone conversation.

  Can I live with Jay thinking I’ve betrayed her? That I’m just like everyone from her past?

  Kate knew she could survive with Jay believing she’d been played for a sucker and that Kate was a cold-hearted, scheming bitch. But that Jay would be convinced yet again that she didn’t deserve anything better?

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  anything in the world to spend the rest of her life believing that. She had to go back.

  Just as she reached that conclusion, she was suddenly bombarded by feelings of deep self-loathing and self-recrimination and a stabbing ache in her heart. Her eyes snapped open as she recognized instinctively the cause of the emotions. There was Jay, standing mere feet away, tears rolling down her cheeks, pain etched in every aspect of her manner. Red-rimmed and bloodshot blue eyes locked on green for a timeless moment before Kate simply stood and opened her arms.

  Dropping the pack off her shoulders, Jay covered the remaining distance between them in three steps, falling into her lover’s arms and choking on her own sobs. “Oh, Kate, I love you so much. I would give anything to have this morning to do all over again. I’m so, so sorry. I was overtired and stressed, and I missed you so much. I wasn’t thinking straight and I was way off base. You didn’t deserve that. I...I don’t even know where to start or how to begin to apologize to you or ask for your forgiveness. I know I have no right to ask it—”

  “Shh,” her lover interrupted her. “That you’re here is enough, love.”

  Kate felt her heart slide back into place. “I wish that we could have been together longer before this happened. If I had only had more time to earn your trust—”

  Jay cut her off. “No, Kate, you’re wrong. You have earned my trust, with every word and every gesture; if I hadn’t been half out of my mind with fear, I would have known that. You can’t take responsibility for my mistakes, love; I have to do that, and I will. That’s why I’m here.” She paused. “Well, that and the fact that I love you more than life itself and I can’t live without you. Oh, and Fred told me I couldn’t come home without his mama.”

  Kate smiled for the first time in days. “How did you find me?”

  “After I hung up on you, I talked to Peter again. It’s a long story, but suffice it to say that he helped set me straight.” Jay could feel the outrage building in the body holding hers. “Don’t, Kate, don’t get mad at him. He was right; there was so much I didn’t know, wasn’t seeing, and didn’t understand. I begged him to help me locate you; I just had
to make this right. I had to. What I did to you this morning was like cutting out my own heart.”

  A lone tear slid down Kate’s face at hearing her own feelings expressed so succinctly.

  The lovers stood there for a time, simply enjoying the feeling of being in each other’s arms.

  “Kate?”

  “Hmm?”

  “What were you doing when I walked up?”

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  “I was asking for guidance.”

  “Did you get any?”

  “Mmm-hmm. In fact,” she squeezed a little tighter, “I had just decided that I needed to come home to you right away and beg you to take me back when you showed up.”

  Jay looked deeply into the eyes of the woman she loved more than anything in the world, trying to convey with her expression all that she couldn’t say. Nudging Kate back into a sitting position, she knelt between her legs. “You know, I was so focused on how bad it felt to be without you after spending every minute together when we were away, all I could think about was how unfair it was and how mad I was at the uncertainty of it all; I felt cheated, Kate.

  “I didn’t stop to consider how you must have been feeling and what you were going through and why. My God, love, you gave up so much for me.” Jay shook her head in wonder. “I will learn to get past these trust issues, I swear to you with all that I am. I will,” she said determinedly, her voice breaking. “And I need you to know, by the way, that my career means nothing without you in my life.”

  “It’s okay, love, your career should mean a lot to you—” She was stopped by a hand on her knee.

  “You are everything to me, Katherine Kyle; everything. I told Trish this morning that I was the other woman in the pictures. I told her I was madly in love with you and that we were going to be married...” She paused, looking up hopefully into the face she knew so well, seeking reassurance. What she got was a brilliant smile. “She said she would stand behind me no matter what, and that our relationship and any resulting publicity didn’t matter to her in the least. She encouraged me to follow my life and my love.” More quietly she added, “And I have.”

  “Oh, Jay, you shouldn’t have put everything on the line like that...”

  Green eyes flashed. “Oh I shouldn’t, but you should? No double standards here, sweetheart; I won’t have it. This is a partnership, remember?”

  “Yes, but you could’ve lost your career, your future.”

  “You don’t get it, love, do you? Losing my job wouldn’t have mattered to me as long as I had you by my side. You’re all I care about, Kate; everything else pales in comparison.” Tears coursed down Jay’s cheeks. “Please, please come home and marry me.”

  The watery emerald eyes locked onto beloved cobalt blue, the plea evident there, as Jay reached into her backpack and pulled out a small velvet box, holding it out in front of her in supplication. “This signifies my commitment to you. I will always love you, Kate, always, and I can’t wait to start our life together.” There was a slight question in the air.

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  Kate looked down at the box nestled in her hand and opened the lid.

  Inside was a gorgeous ring, fourteen-karat gold, set with a three-quarter-carat oval natural blue sapphire accented with eighteen small circular-cut diamonds and ten tapered baguette diamonds. The inscription on the inside said one word: Eternity.

  She had trouble talking around the lump in her throat. “Jay, this is magnificent. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”

  “I have—you. I want everyone,” Jay’s eyes glistened as she gazed lovingly at her partner, “especially you, to know that you’re mine for now and eternity.”

  “That I am, love, and I always will be; I give you my word.” Leaning forward, she planted a gentle, tentative kiss on waiting lips. “I love you, Jay, with all my heart and soul. There is no one else in my life, and there never will be. You’re all I want and all I’ll ever need. I can’t wait to be married to you.”

  Jay wiped a tear from her lover’s eye. “I believe you,” she said, tracing the chiseled cheekbones with loving fingers, and she meant it.

  “Just promise me you’ll never leave me again.”

  “I promise, love.”

  “May I?” Jay asked, indicating the ring.

  “Please.”

  The ring fit perfectly, which was a good thing, since Kate’s jeweler had promised her it would the night that Jay had dragged Peter there before they went to dinner. She leaned forward, kissing Kate with deliberate slowness and smoldering passion. The contact felt so, so sweet. When they parted after breathless moments, she murmured,

  “Perhaps we should head down now and continue this somewhere more comfortable?”

  “Mmm,” Kate hummed against her lips. “Lead on.”

  Both women knew there were deep wounds that needed mending and that only time and togetherness would take care of that, but for the moment they had each other, and that was a balm to both of their wounded souls.

  At the same time, in a hotel suite thousands of miles away in Albany, three men in sharp-looking business suits were meeting in secret.

  “You’re too hot, we’ve got to move you out for a little bit.”

  “Yeah, it’s causing too much of a stir. We’ll create a new position in another agency, get you away from the media, and put you there for six months until this all dies down. Then we’ll bring you back.”

  “What are you going to do with my position? It’s not as if you can leave it vacant.”

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  “I have the perfect solution for that, and the big guy will love it: Katherine Kyle.”

  “Ooh, good thinking. He loves her, and she just got fired. She’s probably desperate for a job, since she got canned for being a dyke, and she’s expendable in six months. Nobody will care what happens to her after that.”

  “Perfect. She’s got the credentials to do the job, and it shouldn’t be any problem getting her to screw up in six months and having to bring me back to fix the mess. I like it.”

  “Okay, I’ll pitch it to him tonight and have him call her personally and offer her the job. He’ll be none the wiser, and she’ll no doubt accept.

  That should seal the deal.”

  “Right, gentlemen. We’ll keep in touch only when absolutely necessary, and I’ll expect to be updated in three months. Talk to you then. I’ve got a plane to catch.”

  Kate and Jay decided to stay the night in Sedona and fly home the next day. Neither one of them was ready to share the other with the public just yet; they needed some time together, alone, before either of them could face that.

  The first time they made love that night they both cried, overcome with emotion and the renewed realization of just how precious their love was, and how close they’d come to losing it.

  Jay kissed Kate reverently, running her hands gently over the skin and muscles she loved so well. “I’m so, so, sorry, love. Your forgiveness is a gift so far beyond any that I deserve.”

  “Shh, baby. That’s all behind us now. From now on, we face every challenge together. We both made mistakes. And it’s likely that we’ll make more in the future, but if we do, we’ll make them together, okay? I promise you.”

  They continued to make love well into the morning hours, each feeling the enormous strength of their shared connection, and both feeling whole for the first time since everything began.

  They slept like babies on the plane to Albany from Phoenix, and by the time they arrived at the house, the dark circles under their eyes had started to fade and their hearts had begun to heal, nourished by the comfort of each other’s presence. They hadn’t talked about the future any further just yet, both knowing that they needed some time to get reacquainted and settled before dealing with anything that weighty. For the time being it was enough to know that they had each other and that they would face whatever challenges lay ahead together, as one.

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  Setting the mail aside, Kate scratched Fred lovingly; he had been waiting for them thanks to Peter, who had dropped him off a couple of hours earlier. The security expert had been ecstatic when she had called him to tell him that she and Jay were coming home, together.

  “Hey, Technowiz.”

  “Kate, are you okay?”

  “I am now.”

  “Um, are you alone?”

  “No. Jay’s here with me. Everything’s fine. But you and I are going to have a long conversation, got me?”

  “C’mon, Kate, what was I supposed to do here? Let you both make the mistake of a lifetime? You two so clearly belong together, I just couldn’t sit by and let that happen.”

  “Even if you went against my specific wishes?”

  “Yes, even at the risk of losing your friendship, Kate, because your ultimate happiness is worth everything, and that woman brings you more joy than anything else on this planet.”

  “Well, I can’t argue with the truth of that statement,” she said as she squeezed Jay’s hand a little tighter in hers, “but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook.”

  “Of course not,” Peter said, laughing. “I can’t wait to see you both, but I think I’ll lay low and stay out of your space for a little while.”

  “You are such a chicken.”

  “Ayup. That’d be me. Bye, Kate. Glad to have you back.”

  “Not as glad as I am to be back, I assure you. Bye, Technowiz, and thanks for everything.”

  Jay called from the other room, “Sweetheart, there’s a message on the answering machine.”

  “Okay, I’ll be right there.” She jogged in and pushed the play button.

  “Hello, Kate, this is Governor Hyland calling. I’m sorry I missed you and I understand you’ve had a bit of a rough time of it lately, but I think I may have the answer: I’d like to offer you a position in my administration serving as chief spokesperson for the Department of Correctional Services. Next to my press secretary, no public relations person gets more exposure or is more important to me. It’s the third-largest prison system in the country, so I imagine we can find a way to challenge you. What do you say? I’d love to have you on board. Please give me a call as soon as possible and let me know. I hope to talk to you soon. Bye, Kate.”