Eyes on the Stars Read online

  “Yeah?”

  “Definitely,” Jessie said.

  Claudia twirled one more time, the smirk on her face a clear indication that she was enjoying the effect the dress was having on Jessie. “Wish I had somewhere to wear it,” she said wistfully, as she disappeared back into the dressing room.

  “Wish I could afford to buy it for you,” Jessie mumbled, painfully aware, not for the first time, of the disparity in their circumstances.

  “Let’s pick up some supplies for a picnic. What do you say?” Claudia asked, once they were back on their bikes. “There’s a nice park a ways outside of town. It’d be fun.”

  “Sure.” Jessie was starting to become more accustomed to Claudia’s impulsiveness.

  “We could get some cheese and crackers, fruit, and maybe a piece of pie. Does that sound okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “I swear, you are so difficult.”

  “What?”

  “Trying to have a conversation with you is like pulling teeth. All I get are one-word answers.”

  “Your choices are fine with me, so why would I need to say anything more than what I did?”

  “Ugh. You are hopeless.”

  “I-I’m sorry, Claude.” Jessie felt a sinking sensation in her gut. “I don’t mean to upset you.”

  Claudia stepped on the brakes, and Jessie followed suit. “Listen, Jess. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m really, really sweet on you. I just wish I felt like I knew you better.”

  Jessie searched Claudia’s face. Reticence was a natural part of her personality. If she wanted Claudia in her life in a meaningful way—and boy, did she—then she was going to have to go against her nature. She swallowed hard. “I grew up in rural upstate New York—a little town called Indian Lake. I was an only child, and a girl at that. My father wanted a boy. So I became his ‘son.’ He was a state park ranger, so we fished, we cut brush, we hiked, we cleared trails… That was my life. He was a quiet man—didn’t have any patience for small talk and didn’t care about things like feelings. So I learned to keep to myself.” Jessie cast her eyes downward and clicked her jaw shut. That was the most words she had strung together in, well, forever. “I guess I’ve never learned to have proper conversation.”

  Claudia was silent for so long, Jessie was afraid that if she looked up, she might be alone.

  “Thank you.”

  Jessie’s head jerked up. “For what?”

  Claudia leaned forward and kissed her sweetly on the lips. “For sharing something about yourself. I can see that was hard for you, and I want you to know it means a lot to me that you did it anyway.”

  “Oh.”

  “Baby steps, I guess.” Claudia laughed and shook her head. “We’re here, by the way. Let’s walk the bikes over by the water.” She pointed to a pond a short distance away, on the other side of a grassy knoll.

  They worked together setting out the tablecloth they’d purchased along with the spread of cheese, crackers, and fruit.

  “It’s pretty here,” Jessie said, as they watched ducks floating on the pond.

  “I thought you might like it.” Claudia scooted herself closer and offered Jessie a bite of her apple.

  Jessie searched her mind for something to say. Truth be told, she was just content to sit silently and have Claudia to herself. “So, have you been here many times?”

  “My family used to vacation in Palm Springs, so I’ve ridden by here on my bike a bunch of times.”

  “Oh.”

  “Where did you go on vacation when you were growing up?”

  “Um,” Jessie felt the color creep up her neck, “my dad never took a vacation.”

  “You never went anywhere?”

  Jessie heard the note of incredulity in Claudia’s voice and shifted uncomfortably. “Not until I started flying. Then I would fly to New Hampshire or Vermont or Maine. One time I flew to Cape Cod.”

  Claudia ran her fingers over the back of Jessie’s hand, sending shivers up Jessie’s spine. Jessie looked around furtively.

  “There’s no one here but us, silly.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “Why do you think I picked this spot?” Claudia batted her eyelashes suggestively, then leaned forward and kissed Jessie long and slow.

  Although she was uncomfortable with being so openly affectionate, Jessie couldn’t keep her body from responding. After a while, she stopped trying to keep track of their surroundings and simply lost herself in the sensation of Claudia’s soft lips on hers.

  “Gosh,” Claudia exclaimed when they finally took a breather, “I could kiss you forever and ever and never get tired of it.”

  “Have you—” Jessie paused to allow her pulse to slow. “Have you kissed many women?”

  “Would you be terribly jealous if I said yes?”

  Jessie considered. “Yes.”

  “You’re so refreshingly honest. No, silly. You’re my second.”

  “Who was the first?”

  “Sandra Kenniston. We were fifteen and she was my best friend. We were doing homework upstairs in my bedroom. One thing led to another, and we just sort of leaned into each other and did it.”

  “Did you love her?”

  Claudia laughed. “In a fifteen-year-old adolescent kind of way, I suppose. When she started going steady with Andrew Burson, I was a little bit crushed.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Well, it could’ve been worse. At least he was cute.”

  “Did you ever like boys?”

  “I had a boyfriend in high school, if that’s what you’re asking. But it was mostly for show. I’ve always been more attracted to girls.”

  “You’re so matter-of-fact about it.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be? As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

  They fell quiet for a bit, and contented themselves with nibbling and watching the ducks.

  “Does it bother you, Jess? I mean, I know you said you’d never kissed anyone before. Do you…well, do you fancy girls or boys?”

  Jessie frowned as she tried to collect her thoughts. “It’s true that I’ve got no experience to fall back on, but I’ve never wanted to kiss a boy. Never even been tempted.”

  “And girls?”

  Jessie scratched her head. “I’d be lying if I said I’d never thought about it.” She felt the blush stain her cheeks.

  “You’re so cute when you blush.” Claudia kissed her temple. “I, for one, am glad you’ve thought about it.”

  “You are?”

  Claudia trailed her fingers down Jessie’s arm. “If you’d never thought about it, you probably would’ve slugged me the first time I made a move on you.”

  Jessie laughed. “Trust me, slugging you was the last thing I thought of doing. I’d been watching you since the very first time we stepped on the tarmac.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Oh, yeah. You were irresistible in that flight suit. It was ten sizes too big for you, and there you were, gamely struggling not to drown in it.”

  “It’s not my fault they only gave us men’s clothes.”

  “Nope.”

  “And it’s not my fault that I’m short, although I prefer to think of myself as petite.”

  “You’re perfect,” Jessie blurted.

  Claudia perked up. “Yeah?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “I’m glad you think so.” Claudia rewarded her with another thorough kiss. “Jess?”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  “How come you never talk about your mom?”

  Jessie stiffened and pulled back.

  “I-I’m sorry. Did I ask something wrong?”

  “No.” Jessie averted her gaze. Talking about her mother was always painful. “She died when I was six. Boat capsized and I went underwater. She saved me, but…”

  Claudia pulled Jessie into a hug. “Oh, honey. I’m so, so sorry. That’s horrible.”

  “I think my dad always blamed me for what happened. It was like he couldn’t look
at me without being reminded of losing her. If he could’ve traded my life for hers, I know he would’ve.”

  “Jess! Surely that’s not true. He loves you.”

  Jessie shook her head and swiped at a tear as it made its way down her face. “No. He loved her. He tolerated me.” Misery flowed through her body.

  “Well, any father who feels that way doesn’t deserve you.” After another minute, Claudia asked, “Why do you talk about him in the past tense?”

  “He died last year. Heart attack while he was out chopping wood. I was in Vermont when it happened. I’d been ferrying some passengers to Burlington. Came home and found him on the ground.”

  “That must’ve been so hard.”

  “Yeah. He was always so strong. It was a shock, that’s for sure.”

  “So it’s just you now?”

  “Yep.” Jessie cleared her throat. “Enough talk about me. How about that piece of pie?”

  CHAPTER THREE

  “Are you enjoying yourself?” Claudia leaned in close and whispered in Jessie’s ear. On the screen, Humphrey Bogart was pacing in his office at Rick’s Café.

  Jessie felt the warmth of Claudia’s breath on the side of her neck and the softness of her skin where their hands were surreptitiously joined between the seats. “Mmm-hmm.”

  “Good. I think you’re much dreamier than Ingrid Bergman.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “You prefer her to me?” Claudia asked.

  “Shh.” Jessie tore her eyes away from the screen. “Of course not. But no one would ever choose me over Ingrid.”

  “Well,” Claudia said huffily, “I would.”

  Jessie shook her head, even as her heart fluttered happily, and returned her attention to the movie. When it was over, everyone in the theater stood and clapped. Looking around, Jessie realized for the first time that the audience was comprised almost exclusively of boys from the base and their girls. She and Claudia were virtually the only two unaccompanied women in the place.

  “What do you want to do now?” Claudia asked as they emerged on the street.

  “How about some ice cream?”

  “Mmm. We could share a sundae. Hey,” Claudia said, looping her arm through Jessie’s, “that’s the first time you’ve ever picked something for us to do. I like it.” She smiled, and Jessie knew she was grinning like a fool in return.

  The ice cream parlor was packed with couples from the movie. Jessie and Claudia found a small booth in the corner and sat across from each other.

  “What kind of ice cream do you like?” Claudia asked.

  “Anything with chocolate.”

  “Okay. How about a hot fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream and extra whipped cream?”

  “Deal.”

  Claudia gave the order to the harried waitress. Jessie jumped when something brushed against her pant leg.

  “What’s the matter?” Claudia asked, batting her eyelashes. “Nervous?”

  The contact against her leg became more solid, and Jessie realized with a start that it was Claudia’s foot rubbing against her, and that it was quite intentional. She swallowed hard. “What if someone sees us?” she asked, as her eyes darted furtively around to see if anyone was watching.

  “They won’t.”

  “You like to take risks, don’t you?”

  “Don’t you?” Claudia challenged. “Why else do we fly?”

  Jessie considered. “You’ve got a point there, but that’s different.”

  “A risk is a risk. Unless, of course, you’d rather risk your life than risk being caught playing footsie with me.”

  Jessie didn’t answer. In truth, she wasn’t sure that she wouldn’t rather risk her life. It wasn’t that she was ashamed to be out with a girl as beautiful as Claudia—not at all. But the consequences if they got caught weren’t something Jessie wished to contemplate. Girls dating other girls…it just wasn’t done.

  Claudia withdrew her foot and played with her napkin. Quietly, she said, “I’m sorry, Jess. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  “It’s not that. It’s just…” Jessie wished with all her heart she could erase the disappointment in Claudia’s eyes.

  “It’s okay. I won’t do it again.”

  Jessie’s stomach clenched painfully, and she started to apologize.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Claudia said breezily. “It’s no big deal.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  The waitress set the sundae down between them with two spoons. Suddenly, Jessie wasn’t very hungry.

  Claudia took the first spoonful. “Mmm. Yummy.”

  Jessie licked her lips as she watched the expression on Claudia’s face. She would’ve given anything to have been the cause of that look.

  “Why aren’t you eating?”

  “I’m not that hungry.”

  Claudia frowned. “You have to eat your share. C’mon.” She reached across the table and briefly brushed her fingers over the back of Jessie’s hand under the guise of grabbing Jessie’s spoon. “Really. Everything’s fine. Cross my heart.” And she did with her free hand. “Please?” She scooped some ice cream and held out the spoon to Jessie.

  “Okay.” There was no way that she could resist a direct plea.

  When they’d finished the entire bowl, they walked back to the inn.

  Jessie finished brushing her teeth and washing her face. She changed into the pair of men’s pajamas that for her were standard fare. She couldn’t remember ever being so nervous. Would Claudia still want to be her girl after the incident in the ice cream parlor? If so, what would she expect from Jessie? Would they share one bed or each take her own?

  A knock on the bathroom door made her spill the cup of water in her hand.

  “Damn it.”

  “Everything okay? You’ve been in there an awfully long time. It’s getting lonely out here.”

  Claudia’s voice was seductive and compelling. Guess that answers one question. “Um, just finishing up. Be out in a sec.”

  “Good.”

  “Okay. You can do this.” Jessie addressed herself in the mirror. “Maybe she’ll just want to sleep.”

  “Did you say something, sugar?”

  Jessie took one last peek in the mirror, squared her shoulders, turned, and opened the door. “Oh.”

  “You like?” Claudia twirled in place. She was wearing a sheer silk nightie that barely covered the essentials.

  Jessie’s mouth suddenly was very, very dry. She nodded dumbly. Claudia crooked her finger, beckoning Jessie forward. When she didn’t move, Claudia took a step toward her and pulled her by the pajama shirt lapels.

  Unbalanced, Jessie stumbled right into Claudia’s arms. “That’s more like it.” Claudia ran her fingernails up and down Jessie’s back, sending chills along her spine. “Mmm. Is that a shiver of anticipation, or are you cold?” Claudia pushed up onto the balls of her feet and lightly nipped Jessie’s earlobe, then licked the spot. “Either way, I bet I’ve got a solution.”

  Jessie couldn’t think. All of the blood that should have been powering her brain migrated south. She could feel Claudia’s hardened nipples through the flimsy material.

  Claudia must have known the effect she was having, because she chuckled low and deep and pushed harder into Jessie before relenting. She sauntered over to one of the beds, and Jessie noted for the first time that it already had been turned down.

  Jessie remained immobile as Claudia sat on the edge of the bed, leaning back on one arm and crossing her shapely legs. When Claudia patted the spot next to her with her free hand, Jessie willed herself to move. She sat down but didn’t meet Claudia’s eyes.

  “Is it that you’re nervous, or aren’t you interested in me? I’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you want.”

  “What? Gosh, no.” Jessie fiddled with one of her shirt buttons as she tried to compose what she wanted to say. “Remember when I told you I’d never kissed anyone before?”

  “Yeah.”


  “Well, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, that also means I haven’t—oh, heck. I haven’t done anything else, either.” Jessie finished in a rush. “There, I said it.” She faced Claudia. “Geez, Claude, you’re beautiful, and self-assured, and I’m neither of those things. I feel things for you I’ve never felt before, and I don’t have the first idea what to do about it.”

  Claudia nodded knowingly. “Do you want to do something about it?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Okay, then. Let’s just start with what we know how to do and see where it goes from there.” Claudia traced Jessie’s jaw line with her fingertips, then leaned in and captured her lips in a leisurely exploration.

  When Jessie felt air on her chest, she realized Claudia must have undone at least two of her shirt buttons. She gasped as warm fingers stroked her skin. Her heart hammered and her pulse jumped in her neck.

  “Is this okay?”

  “Uh-huh.” Jessie gulped as Claudia’s fingers moved lower. Heat spread throughout Jessie’s body, and she was horrified to feel herself push forward into Claudia’s hand. She moaned into Claudia’s mouth.

  “You like that, sugar?” Claudia asked against her lips.

  Jessie’s hands moved of their own accord. She caressed Claudia’s face, neck, and shoulders. When Claudia guided her hands underneath the nightie, Jessie lost any restraint she might have possessed. Despite her inexperience, it was as if her body knew what to do. And for that, she was eternally grateful.

  Jessie was vaguely aware of a breeze on her cheek. A breeze? Her eyes popped open. Claudia. She was fast asleep, her head resting on Jessie’s shoulder, her face tipped upward, a smile on her beautiful lips. Claudia...her lover. The thought made Jessie giddy and, as a disbelieving laugh bubbled up in her throat, she fought to stay quiet. As gently as she could, she reached over and brushed away a lock of hair that was covering one of Claudia’s eyes.

  Claudia shifted minutely but didn’t wake. Instead, she snuggled closer in Jessie’s embrace. Jessie’s heart tripped. How was it possible that this sophisticated, intelligent, desirable woman had chosen her?