Chain Reactions Page 13

  “I see. Will it… Do you think she’ll have any more times like she had before, when she was interacting with us?”

  “You mean will she be able to sit up and have a normal conversation?”

  She nodded. It sounded silly when Brooke said it that way. “I guess that’s unrealistic.”

  “Not at all.” Brooke pushed off from the frame and took a step toward the end of the bed. It was as close as she’d come to Diana since she’d arrived an hour ago.

  “In my experience, patients in the end stages of the dying process often have what I call a ‘rally,’ where all of a sudden they appear to be getting better—stronger. Sometimes this phenomenon lasts a few minutes, and sometimes as long as a few days. It just depends.”

  Diana absorbed that bit of information. What she wouldn’t give to have one more discussion with Aunt Nora. After spending several nights researching “The Atomic City” and the “Calutron Girls,” she was hungry to know more about Aunt Nora’s role in all of it. That Aunt Nora played such a critical part in one of the defining moments in the history of World War II intrigued Diana to no end.

  “Do you have any more questions for me?”

  She started. She’d nearly forgotten that Brooke still stood there. “I guess not.”

  “Right. Take all the time you want. I’ll be in the living room if you or Nora need anything. I’ll turn the monitor off to give you your privacy.”

  “Thanks.” She didn’t know what else to say. She’d left her office too late in the afternoon to arrive in time for dinner. Instead, she’d texted Brooke to tell her not to wait for her for dinner and grabbed a lobster roll at the beginning of the Cape.

  Was Brooke relieved to eat alone? Or disappointed? Did it matter at this point?

  Nora moaned and Diana stroked her hand. “It’s okay. Rest now. You’ve earned it.”

  She stayed with her for another half an hour, but Nora never opened her eyes. “I’ll be back in the morning. I love you, Aunt Nora.” She kissed her on the forehead and closed the door on her way out of the bedroom.

  Brooke was sitting curled up on the couch, her eyes closed. The sight took Diana’s breath away. In repose, she was even prettier. Without the worry lines, she appeared as Diana imagined she’d looked straight out of nursing school—young and ready to save the world.

  She hated to wake her, but there was nothing for it. She cleared her throat and Brooke jumped.

  “Sorry. I must’ve dozed off.”

  “No problem. I didn’t want to disappear and not say goodbye.”

  “Right.”

  “Well, goodnight.”

  “Right.”

  This was crazy. She should say something more. “Brooke?”

  “Yes?” Brooke looked at her expectantly.

  “Thanks again for taking such good care of Aunt Nora. I know you’re doing everything you can.”

  “You’re welcome. That’s what I was hired to do. I take my responsibilities very seriously.” Her expression, so open in sleep, was a closed book now.

  “Well, I suspect it’s more than that to you, and I want you to know that I recognize that and appreciate it.”

  “Thanks.”

  She shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. “Anyway, I’ll be back first thing in the morning. Should I bring anything for breakfast?”

  Brooke shrugged. “Nora isn’t really eating much these days.”

  “I meant for you,” she said quietly.

  “Oh. That’s not necessary. I can take care of myself.”

  “I know that.” She opened her mouth to say something more and then thought better of it. “Okay. I should be here around eight. Is that too early?”

  “Eight is fine. Truly, you’re Nora’s family. You can, and should, come and go as often as you like.”

  “I don’t want to interrupt her care.”

  “You won’t.”

  Diana pulled the keys from her pocket and palmed them. “See you at eight, then.”

  As she headed toward the door, Brooke rose, turned the monitor back on, and strode in the direction of Nora’s room. Diana stared after her retreating form. She wanted to tell her to come back so they could talk about what had happened between them, so that they could get past this insufferable politeness. But she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. Tomorrow. Tomorrow they could talk about it. She closed the door softly behind her.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Nora blinked and the world came into focus. Sunshine streamed in through the bedroom window and exploded in a rainbow prism of light across the covers. From the angle of it, she judged that it was mid-morning.

  What day was it? And where had her mother gone? She’d been here just a minute ago, urging Nora to get ready. It was almost time to go. But she was so tired. Maybe she could close her eyes for a few more minutes…

  “I love you, Aunt Nora. I wish we had more time.”

  She fought her way up to the surface. “We have all the time in the world, dear.” She struggled to open her eyes.

  “What? Did you say something?”

  She cleared her throat and tried to project her voice. “We have all the time in the world.”

  “She’s awake!” Diana’s face, lined with stress and sadness, swam into view.

  “How long have I been asleep?”

  Brooke strode into the room. “Not too long.” She approached the other side of the bed. “I gave you a dose of medicine a little over an hour ago. Would you like to sit up?”

  She nodded. “And would you be a dear and get me some water?”

  “Of course.” Brooke repositioned her and hustled out of the room.

  Nora watched her go and waited until she was out of sight. “Have you taken my advice?”

  “Excuse me?” Diana asked.

  “Have you asked her on a date?”

  “Who?” The tips of Diana’s ears turned red and she evaded her pointed gaze.

  “Playing dumb doesn’t suit you, dear. Brooke, that’s who.”

  Diana fussed with the corner of the bed covers. “No.”

  “But?”

  “But, what?”

  “I don’t know. You tell me. There’s something more, that’s for certain. If not, you wouldn’t be so uncomfortable with the subject.”

  Diana looked as though she would bolt and Nora wanted to laugh, if only she’d had the energy. She raised her eyebrows in expectation. “Well? What is it?”

  “I… I kissed her.” The words came out in a rush.

  This time, Nora did laugh. She clapped her hands quietly in delight. “Excellent. That’s progress.”

  Diana shook her head and bit her lip.

  “Whatever is wrong? You didn’t enjoy it?”

  “What?” She shifted uncomfortably. “No. It isn’t that. It never should’ve happened. It was inappropriate and the timing is all wrong.”

  “Poppycock.” She waved away Diana’s words.

  “You’re…” Her eyes filled with unshed tears. “Brooke is your nurse. Now is not the time—”

  “Listen to me, Diana. There is no perfect time for love. You seize the moment when it presents itself, regardless of the timing. I give you my blessing.”

  Diana gripped the bedcovers tightly. “I can’t—”

  “You most certainly can. Do you love her?”

  “I don’t know. I hardly know her.”

  “Are you attracted to her?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, that’s a good place to start. Get to know her. She’s got a beautiful heart, you know.”

  “I know.”

  “Love is the most powerful tonic for all you’ve been through, dear. Open your heart to Brooke. Together you can heal those scars you’re carrying.”

  “I’m not—”

  “Oh, yes, you are. Diana?” She patted the bed next to her and Diana sat next to her hip.

  “Yes?”

  “Consider this an old lady’s dying wish. I want you to be happy. I can’t leave this Earth and not kno
w that I’ve done something right for you, that I’ve made up for the love you didn’t get to feel from me all these years.”

  “It’s not up to you to solve my love life.”

  “You’re right. It’s up to you.” Nora stared pointedly at her. She looked miserable. “Take it from someone who knows too much about this subject. If we’ve ever truly loved, at some point, we’ve been hurt and had our hearts ripped apart. But when we give up on love and close our hearts to new possibilities, we cease living.”

  Diana looked as though she would interrupt.

  “Let me finish, please.” She was parched. She wondered where Brooke was with the water, but she was determined to take advantage of the time alone with her great-niece.

  “I’ve spent most of my life existing instead of living, alone and convinced that I didn’t deserve love. I threw myself into my work, believing that by doing good things, I could make up for all I’d done wrong in my personal and professional life. I’ve had decades with too much time to regret, wishing away my life with could-have-beens and should-have-beens.” She gripped Diana’s hand. “Don’t be me, Diana. Be stronger and better than I was. Live and love for me. Please.”

  “I—I will, Aunt Nora. I promise you, I’ll do my best.”

  She nodded as exhaustion took her. She wished she could keep her eyes open, but she was losing the fight.

  Brooke leaned heavily against the kitchen counter, Nora’s water bottle held loosely in her right hand. She knew she should’ve gone into the living room and turned off the monitor. She’d meant to…

  It’s not as though it was on your person.

  She shook her head disgustedly. That’s a flimsy bit of rationale and you know it.

  What should she do? Should she admit to Diana that she’d heard the conversation between her and Nora? To be sure, that would ease her conscience.

  No. Diana would be mortified. Clearly, she’d forgotten about the monitor. Otherwise she never would’ve been so open with Nora. Besides, she couldn’t even bring herself to talk about the kiss. How in the world would she react to knowing that an intimate conversation with her dying great-aunt had been broadcast for Brooke to hear?

  “Are you okay?” Diana regarded her quizzically. “You look like you’re a thousand miles away.”

  She clutched at her heart. “I-I didn’t hear you come out.”

  “I gathered as much.” She pointed at Nora’s water bottle. “I don’t think she’ll be needing that right now. She’s asleep again.”

  “Oh. I’ll put it on the tray so it will be there next time she wakes up.” Brooke pushed off from the counter.

  “Wait.” Diana stepped into her path, blocking her way. “I-I’ve been meaning to talk to you about…about the other night.”

  This was it. This was the moment. If she was going to share what she’d heard, now was the time.

  “I know I’ve been acting like an idiot.”

  “Diana—”

  “Please, let me say my piece, and then you can tell me whatever it is you want to say.”

  Her jaw clicked shut. She could see that this wasn’t easy for Diana, revealing what she knew would only make it harder and more awkward.

  “I want you to know, it’s not in my nature to go around kissing women indiscriminately.” Diana glanced up at her from underneath long lashes. “In fact, I can’t remember ever taking a chance like that before.”

  “I’m not sorry you did,” she said softly.

  Diana nodded. “I’m very attracted to you. It’s just…” She sighed and shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans, a gesture Brooke had come to recognize signaled embarrassment or discomfort. “I should’ve thought through the implications before I acted impulsively. You’re Aunt Nora’s nurse, and apart from wanting to avoid any hint of impropriety, Aunt Nora is dying, and the timing of that kiss was problematic for me. I was disappointed with myself for not exercising better self-control. I can’t imagine what you must be thinking about me.”

  She couldn’t stand still any longer. She covered the few steps between them and lifted Diana’s chin with two fingers. Her eyes were a vivid green today, and Brooke’s breath caught in her throat.

  “I think you’re a woman of principle, caught in a difficult…no, make that a nearly impossible…situation, watching helplessly as someone you love dies. It’s wreaking emotional havoc on your heart. It’s a wonder you can tie your shoes in the morning, never mind deal with complicated issues like attraction and what to do about it.”

  “That’s very kind. Thank you.”

  “You don’t need to thank me for stating the obvious. The real question isn’t about what happened, but about where we go from here. I promise you that I don’t think any less of you for acting on your feelings, and that I have no problem discharging my duties where Nora is concerned.”

  “I never doubted that you would continue to give Aunt Nora your very best. No one could be better suited to this assignment, nor would I trust anyone else with it.”

  “Good. For the record, in case you’re wondering, I’m wicked attracted to you too, Diana Lindstrom.”

  Diana’s mouth formed an “O.”

  “So, now what?” Brooke asked.

  “I wish I knew.”

  “How about if we focus on Nora now, and agree that if we still feel the same way later, we’ll explore ‘us’ at that time?”

  “That sounds like a great plan.” The crease in Diana’s forehead eased. “I’d like to tell you I won’t be tempted to kiss you until then, but I never lie.”

  She laughed easily. “I wish I could resist you, but that wouldn’t be the truth either.”

  “Right. Okay, then?”

  “Okay,” she agreed. They stood inches apart. She knew it would take nothing to lean forward and… “I’d better go check on Nora.”

  “You do that.”

  As she retreated, she felt Diana’s gaze on her. She smiled.

  Diana whistled to herself as she walked along the beach. The bracing cold felt unaccountably refreshing against her overheated cheeks. Aunt Nora’s place was necessarily warm for the patient’s comfort, and Diana didn’t envy Brooke for having to adapt accordingly.

  Brooke… Now that they’d cleared the air, Diana allowed her imagination free reign. Aunt Nora was right. Brooke could easily steal her heart right out from under her if she wasn’t careful. Then again, that was the thrust of Aunt Nora’s advice, wasn’t it? Cast caution aside and let the heart have what it wants. Diana never had been particularly good at that. She’d always been cautious by nature, and her life experiences had made her even more so.

  Aunt Nora’s words tumbled around in her head, and she pondered their meaning. What was it she regretted so deeply? Who had broken her tender heart? And what did she mean about professional mistakes? Was she referring to the atomic bomb stuff? Diana had so many questions. Would she get an opportunity to get answers?

  Brooke had said most end-stage patients rallied. Aunt Nora did exactly that this morning, if only for an hour. Would she do it again? So far, she’d shown no signs of it. In fact, she hadn’t regained consciousness since their discussion this morning. Still, Diana kept a watchful eye, not wanting to miss one last chance to ask Aunt Nora everything she wanted to know.

  Brooke practically shoved her out the door and told her to get some air. Sitting vigil, she said, was hard on the soul. It was important to take breaks in order to revive the spirit. What about Brooke’s spirit? Diana couldn’t imagine the toll caring for sick and dying patients must have taken on her.

  She hadn’t given it much thought until now, but Diana could see why Brooke had walked away from Farber. What would she do after Aunt Nora was gone? Would she stay in nursing? Suddenly, Brooke’s choices mattered a great deal to Diana.

  Don’t get too far down the road. Attraction doesn’t always equate with compatibility or love. You don’t even know if you’re right for each other.

  She checked her watch—1:15 p.m. She probably should hea
d back. What if Aunt Nora was awake? She pulled the cell phone from her back pocket. Brooke promised her that if Aunt Nora regained consciousness, she would alert her right away. She also had cautioned that such opportunities were most likely to occur earlier in the day; many patients shut down as the day wore on.

  Of course, there must be exceptions to every rule, and Aunt Nora was nothing if not exceptional. She was so strong, with a will of steel. She’d lived to be one hundred years old and maintained her independence right up until the end. You didn’t achieve that by being weak. If it was possible to will oneself back to consciousness and lucidity, Aunt Nora would get the job done.

  As if on cue, Diana’s cell phone buzzed with a text message.

  “She’s awake and eating some Jell-O and a little soup. She’s quite alert and looking forward to seeing you.” Brooke included a thumbs up emoji.

  Her heart pounded hard. Aunt Nora was awake. She took off at a run.

  Diana ran into the room as though her hair were on fire and came skidding to a halt next to the bed. “Hi.”

  “Hi, yourself,” Nora said. “Brooke was telling me that you took a walk on the beach. Oh, how I miss being able to do that.”

  “I’ll leave you two alone to visit.” Brooke squeezed Nora’s hand. “If you need anything, shout. You’ve got fresh water here,” she pointed to the hospital tray, “and you’re not due for any more medications for another two hours.”

  “I’m sure Diana and I will be fine, dear. Won’t we?” She patted the side of the bed in invitation and Diana sat.

  “We will,” Diana answered. Her gaze lingered on Brooke as she exited the room, a development that didn’t escape Nora.

  “Do I sense progress?”

  “You are incorrigible, you know that?”

  “Well, it’s not as though I have anything else to focus on, dear. Allow an old lady some vicarious living, why don’t you.” She winked.

  “You’re embarrassing me, so how about if we talk about something else, please.”

  “As you wish.”

  “Can I ask you a few questions?”